What's in a name?

Demonik, Shmemonik.... Who cares what my name is?

Lots of folks look at me funny when they discover my Internet persona is rooted in seemingly sinister soil. My Internet name has been around since the early 90's, when I first discovered how to use Usenet, and posted on the Usenet bulletin boards in the magical mystical land called alt.1d. It was a fun way to communicate, and I would anxiously wait for the next Test poster to annihilate with words, and to dance in fantasy land with my comrades, the Obsequious Dancing Bear, Prinzezz, The Scarlet Dragon, Snipe, and so on. But the Internet movedon, and Usenet (which is still there by the way) gave way to Chat which gave way to Blogs which gave way to Facebook.

The truth is my Internet name has nothing to do with my faith, other than to send the right wing fundamentalists running at its sight. I do not know them And neither does He, I suspect.

The moral is the same as has been restated countless times before: Don't judge someone by their name, by their appearance, by the color of their skin, by the book they are reading... don't judge period. Its not your job. Your job is to pass on the Word. We are all children of God. Some of us just need to be reminded of that more often than others.

Just back from an American Tour

Hey, dudes and dudettes: Just returned from a tour with Eric & Britt Hauck & the Crosspoint Band. Yup, I play the drums with some righteous people, and it was a wonderful thing to be doing things on a daily basis without pay, and for the Lord. And now, I return to work that pays money, but has no objective, no reason, no worth. Why am I doing it then?

I am at that point in my career where I am asking God, Well, What do you want me to do? I hear you calling, but what am I being called to do? I can only hope I find out before he really calls me for good.

Amen, brothers and sisters.

Party on Garth.

Bail me out, too

Ok. So after contributing to Social Security for my entire working life, I'm supposed to surrender my guaranteed income after retirement to the same types of plans that have been plummeting into the toilet during that same timeframe. I've looked at my 401k statements, and they are not pleasant. I have been wishing I had a pension.

Now I find out that I am supposed to "buckle up" and chip in to fund pension plans for other people who were fortunate to work for a company that provided one, and my government bailed out the company from bankruptcy. When is somebody going to bail me out? I have been working for going on 30 years now, and I have another 30 to go. When I retire, I have nothing to look forward to.

Except healthy grandchildren. God, forgive me for wishing for heaven on earth

despise

Ok, Maybe hate is too strong a word. I truly despise Bush. Every time I fill my car with gas. Every time I see my 401K losing its value, and thinking he wants to do the same thing to the only guaranteed income I have when I retire. And laughs with his stupid smug laugh that HE will get the Social Security I am contributing to, and I will have to fend for myself. Every time another person has trouble getting medicine or health care out of medicaid. He must be stopped. I despise him.

I love bush

Although I truly prefer it shaved.

I hate Bush

Not that he's a bad man or anything. He is just evil incarnate, the lyingest, backstabbingest, son of a you know what that ever crossed the Ri Grande. I hate him.

Prayer Responses

I see nothing wrong in asking others to pray for you. Don't think of it as weakness. Think of it as an act of humility and witnessing.

I just said a prayer for you. We will pray for you at home.

May God give you peace, courage, and strength through this difficult time.

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
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was touched by your email. I am praying not only a job comes your way but that you will not lose faith in God. You are not being punished but you are being tested. I don't know what it feels like to have a son die. I know it is a real heartbreaker. I can only say only God knows the reasons for our hurts and disappointment. Remember he is with you every step of the way. He will hold your hand tight and take you on your journey but you have to pray to him. He knows our weaknesses and strengths. I have faith you will soon have a job and can continue along your life's journey. I pray for our whole family and that the Lord for his wonderful blessings. God Bless. Keep faith strong. Hugs and kisses to you.
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Son's letter



A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".



With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:



Dear Dad,



It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.



I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.



Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.



Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!



Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.



Your son, John



PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
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STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR JOB
Luv U Man

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OM
Purnamidah purnamidam
Purnat purnamudachyate
Purnasya purnamadaya
Purnameva vashishyate
OM shanti shanti shantihi

This is perfection, that is perfection
From perfection perfection becomes manifest Taking away perfection from perfection, perfection remains.
Let there be peace, peace, peace.

I only had one chance to meet my nephew Ant, and I believe I met a realized Master, a Blessed Saint, a Boddhisattva, a soul who chose to return to earth in human form to teach a few of us how to live, love, and endure the pain of separation; his tiny body was not expected to live long, but it lasted long enough to touch and bless so many of us, and it broke our hearts that he had to leave, but his sweet smile showed that he had so much love for everyone around him. I think of him often, and know that he watches over us as a little angel...

Prayer Request

I don’t normally ask for people to think about me, or pray for me, or anything like that. It just isn’t in me. What happens happens, as far as I’m concerned. There really isn’t any need for group prayer or for people to pray to God for something to happen. Its my job to accept that whatever happens in my life is God’s will, and there is a reason for it to happen, whether it is good or bad. That’s something called “abandonment”, a philosophy I agree, with pretty strongly. I am abandoned to God’s will. Still, I am finding that on this night, it is like the planets are in alignment, and it is the 9th day of the 9th week, and 9th year … I mean it is really hard for me to grasp it all. My twins are 19 months old. They were born on August 26th of 2003. And tonight is the last night I saw my son, Anthony, alive. He was 19 months old. He was born on August 13, 1994.



His life was brief, but full of powerful messages. As I sit here remembering him, it is very difficult for me to take it all. 2 times 13 is 26. Big deal, right? Numerology is full of crap, right? I had a rough day today, getting stressed out over every little thing, and finally I realized that 19 months is a very long time. I love these twins more than life itself, and if I woke up tomorrow and they were gone, I could not go on. And then it hit me. 19 months is a long time, and I loved my son more than life itself, and I am still here. I feel pain like nobody’s business. And to have this all happen around Easter, when we’re talking about the resurrection, and the death of Jesus, and the crucifixion … well, it all makes it a little too interconnected. Like Carl Jung’s Synchronicity on steroids.



I know I am reborn from the ashes of a misspent life. And I know I had to lose a son to regain my life. And I know that now that I have two healthy, wonderful kids, my personal life is falling to pieces. I know that it is not a payment, and that I didn’t do anything wrong, and I am not being persecuted for changing churches or pushing the envelope too often… but it sure feels that way. I Prayed for 2 healthy kids, and I got them, and I am grateful! Hell, I have 3 healthy kids, and one of them is about to conquer the world. Go get ‘em, Krys.



But it sure would be nice to have the security of a steady income. So please …..please please … pray for me. Pray that I wake up, and my kids will still be here. And I will be grateful. Thanks.

The Beast

So, I've been leafing through Revelations these days, and thinking about my name and how it applies to Christianity. You know, how I believe the little fishies are really closer to pagan idolatry than worshiping the Lord, and going around professing what a great Christian you are doesn't make you one. Well, as I was reading the doomsday chapter of the Bible, I read about the Beast from the sea, a seven headed beast that looked to have received a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had healed. The Beast was so incredibly powerful, that all were in awe of it, and said "Who would make war against such as this?" And all fell down and worshipped the Beast. All wore the mark, the mark of the beast, and if you can do math really well, you should calculate it as 666.

So okay, if you lay a 6 on its back:


Then another 6 comes along ...


One more six, and its hook line and sinker.


The Beast is US! The "Fatal wound" happened on 9-11. Nobody in their right mind would start a war with the US after what happened in Iraq. We are invincible, are we not? And the Christian Fundamentalist movement is led by the Antichrist, passing judgement on those who do not agree, and closing their eyes and ears to all other viewpoints.

I'm not sure if I believe all of this, but it does sound eerily conceivable that the world could see US in that way. God, I hope we are on the right side, and that we are seeing ourselves with open eyes, and opening our hearts to people instead of judging them. I pray that we will be seen in Heaven. I pray that good Christians recognize the difference between morals, values, and judgements. I pray that the good in the fundamentalist movement comes out, and outweighs the supremacist bigotry so prevalent in our society. There is good there. And I believe that like Luke Skywalker believed Darth Vader had good in him. It is just very hard to see sometimes. You just have to get past the fish and hooks.